Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.