Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.