Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with skin wrapped around it.

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.