I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.