I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.