If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down.