A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.