If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.