A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.