The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.