A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four

I was just working in the shop and all of a sudden something just triggered in me, and I started shaking. And then I walked back into the house and my wife asked, 'What's the matter?' And I said, 'I don't feel good.' And tears, uncontrollable tears, was coming out of my eyes and she says, 'What's the matter?' And I told her. I said, 'I just thought about that execution that I did two days ago, and everybody else's that I was involved in.' And what it was, something triggered within, and it just, everybody - all of these executions all sprung forward.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.