Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.