There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.