I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four

He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.