He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.
On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.