Television is a triumph of equipment over people.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.