Television is a triumph of equipment over people.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.