I have no talent when it comes to pianos or guitars or any of that, even karaoke. For karaoke, I have to be wasted to get up there and sing.

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work.

Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he comes up to me and goes "you want a falcon?".

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

The first time I got on stage I was 10 years old and I did impressions. I did cartoon characters and I really got the bug for this life when I saw that people were laughing and saw the attention I was getting.

There's been a lot of guys that come out of Texas who have made it really big. So it's not a geographic thing, it's a how hard are you willing to work for it.

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.