I'll walk up to a woman, I'll say the first thing that comes to mind: 'Hey, you hungry?'

Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.

If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me.