If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I just like The Little Mermaid cartoon. Say what you want. I have a fish tank, it's a long story. I have a fascination with the ocean, and you put a hot chick in there, it just adds more to it! I liked The Little Mermaid. It's a cool movie. It's one of those I watch over and over again.

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds.

My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off.

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.