Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Travel is the art form available to Everyman. You sit in the coffee shop in a strange city and nobody knows who you are, or cares, and so you shed your checkered past and your motley credentials and you face the day unarmed ... And onward we go and some day in the distant future, we will stop and turn around in astonishment to see all the places we've been and the heroes we were.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?