Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.