There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

When you come to expect humor of people, you will never get it.

There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.

My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts.

In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn't predict.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.