I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.