I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.