I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.