Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.