I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Life's but a day at most.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.

If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.