Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years.

A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

The happiest people I know are the ones that are still working. The saddest are the ones who are retired. Very few performers retire on their own. It's usually because no one wants them. Six years ago Sinatra announced his retirement. He's still working.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage ... When you can't think of what you're supposed to say next, you can puff on your cigar until you think of your next line.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.