I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the only women you can get are 55-year-old women, and I like younger women.

Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.