When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.