When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

At home we ate fish every Friday, as Catholics were then supposed to do. Being Jewish, I compromised. I wore a hat when I ate fish, out of respect for my own religion and the fish's family.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.