I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine; I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.

I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.

By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and they would swear there was no driver.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.