Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.