Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.