Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

Well, anybody can be a straight man if he hears well. You just have to wait for laughs. A straight man just repeats the questions and the comedian gets the laughs and you just wait for them and don't let them die completely at the tail end of the laugh.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.