Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.

When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end.

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out. And you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.