In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.

I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.

If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.

I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries.

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.