I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.

I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you're out of business.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.