Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.

Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.