Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

At my age flowers scare me.

I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.