In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years.
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out. And you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.