When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

Say Goodnight Gracie.

A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.

Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.