You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.