I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

Life's but a day at most.

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.