I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

The happiest people I know are the ones that are still working. The saddest are the ones who are retired. Very few performers retire on their own. It's usually because no one wants them. Six years ago Sinatra announced his retirement. He's still working.

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.