I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out. And you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.

Young. Old. Just Words.

Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

I get a standing ovation just standing