I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.