Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.

Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods.

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.

I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.