I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.

I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.