Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.