Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.

I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.