When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.