I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.
Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.