None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

At my age flowers scare me.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.