Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'