I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.