Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.

Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.

Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.