There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.

I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.