I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.