Well, anybody can be a straight man if he hears well. You just have to wait for laughs. A straight man just repeats the questions and the comedian gets the laughs and you just wait for them and don't let them die completely at the tail end of the laugh.

By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and they would swear there was no driver.

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.